Sunday, September 25, 2011

Adventure Time

I have quite the story for you. I'm almost positive that every traveler worth their salt has had an experience like this so it should make it all the more laughable. (I meant to post it last night but I was so tired, I started to not make sense. Soo you get it a day later. :) I'm too lazy to change the tenses so pretend you're reading this at 11 o'clock pm on Saturday night.I think it actually makes more sense that way...)

******

Ana and I... Aren't we pretty? ;)
This morning, Ana (my Brazilian friend) invited me and Leanne (who was MIA for all of Saturday) to go to the Luodong night market. I said yes and, typical me, put off asking my host mom until just under an hour before I was planning on meeting Ana.

Can you see where this is going? I'd like to call it the Path of Laughingly Epic Failure. It's really pretty this time of year. The trees have just started to turn purple in preparation for the coming fall. Nights (and days for that matter) are steadily getting cooler and despite the weather, there are actually quite a few people around... Sorry. I couldn't resist. Back to the story.

For the last several nighttime outings, my host mom has given off the vibe that she's getting irritated with driving me places. She's been an absolute doll about it don't get me wrong, but I could just tell that she was getting close to her breaking point. It was only a matter of time before she decided that something needed to change.

Tonight was the night. It was time to learn how to use public transportation.

Gulp.

I've never used public transportation by myself. In Austria, Ines (my Austrian twin-sister) took care of all that. My only responsibility was to make sure that my tush got on/off the train when Ines' did. Any other encounters with public transportation were handled by my parents as I was too young to work it myself.

Granted, my hometown isn't big enough to have an underground or anything nifty like that, so transportation is limited to cars, bikes, walking and buses. There are some pretty... interesting... people that take the bus so that was never really encouraged. Eugene is a total hippy town too. A lot of people are super eco-friendly and ride their bikes everywhere. That and (I swear to god) it's pretty much a cultural thing to have a car and drive yourself around. All of these factors added up to me not ever needing to learn how to use public transportation.

Anyway.

Here's what was supposed to happen.

1. Ride my bike to the train station
2. Catch a bus to Luodong
3. Hang out with Ana
4. Take the bus back to Yilan
5. Bike home.

Theoretically, problem isn't.

Reality. Problem is...

1. My host mom drove me to the train station because we mutually decided that I don't know how to get there.

2. We couldn't figure out where I should get on the bus. We spend a good ten minutes driving in circles before we asked someone where I should wait. I ended up sitting on the curb about a block away from the train station.

3. I watched two buses pass me on their way to places unknown before I got up to ask the driver of the next bus if that bus goes to Luodong. (Think about how much easier this would be if I was with someone who spoke Chinese.)

4. The bus driver wasn't too terribly helpful (stupid language barrier). The only thing I got from that conversation was "No. Seven." and he pointed back towards the train station and the 7-11 on the corner.  I decided to try the 7-11. All I got from them was "Train Station" Okayyy. Back to where I started then.

5. I went to the train station and found the time table. You'd think that would make things easier. Not so. I wasn't able to decipher any of it. (Chinese...) So I went to the visitor's center and asked the guy there about the Luodong bus.

His answer: "uh sorry. There isn't a bus to Luodong. You're gonna have to take the train."

You're kidding me. My mom spent a good twenty minutes trying to figure out where I need to go all for nothing!

6. I went back into the train station and bought a ticket to Luodong. That wasn't very helpful either. No boarding time or platform number. I decided to wing it and went to the guy manning the gate into the platforms. He gave me the most helpful piece of advice.

"Platform 2"

Xie xie!

I made my way over to platform two and see a train waiting. I double check my not-so-helpful ticket. Naturally, it lived up to it's name so I decide to wing it again. I go on the train and quickly found a seat.

7. To pass the time, I came up with nearly all of the worst case scenarios.

What if I'm on the wrong train? What if I end up somewhere so far away that I can't get back? Oh god. Oh god..
No. You're fine. You know where to sto- 
!%$^ I don't know how to get to the night market from the train station. Im doooommmmmmmeeeeedddddddddddddddddd.
Kathryn. Stop it. You figured out how to get to Luodong. Don't even pretend that you don't know how to ask people how to get there. You know that these people are nice and that they want to help you. Knock. It. Off. 
But what if they're a rapist and give me the wrong directions and stalk me and and and... hionsdfgb saerahiganergtlkaergdosdfhstnnnnxffffyj..........
You done?
...Yes.
Good cause we're here.
Gulp.


8. It took me forever to figure out how to get to the night market. It was ridiculous. First I tried to find a info desk or tourist center. (No luck there.) Then I went to the ticket counter and asked the person working how to get to the night market.

"...bu do (I don't understand)." He handed me a pen and paper so I could write the question. "Night market? bu do."

Really?! Gahhhhh.... xie xie.

Then I tried calling my mom. No dice. She told me to ask people. (Lovely. Thanks. I'll plan on see you later then. No promises though) I tried the little convenience store in the train station next. Just my luck, the guy didn't speak English. I went outside and called Ana in hopes that she would be able to hand the phone over to our friend Nina who is fluent in English AND knows the area.

Nope. No help there.

Super easy right? 
Then I saw the map. Could it be? Did I just find the X that marks the spot? I rushed over and found that, yes, I had in fact struck gold. Here was the train station and there was the night market only some five blocks away! Hurray!

I quickly snapped a picture on my phone for future reference, asked someone if I was on the right street and I was on my way.

I found the McDonald's where I was supposed to meet Ana at with relative ease and from there the night was an absolute blast! We ate good food, did some shopping, and talked about all the things that were new, different, and exciting in our lives.

****

Please tell me you laughed at this. I know I'd be laughing my butt off if this happened to one of my friends, so you don't need to feel bad. I'd be a failure as a person and writer if you didn't even smile a little bit. I know I can't wait to tell this story in person. (Mostly for the gestures, facial expressions, and vocal changes. ;D)

Does anybody think they can top this? Comments/emails are welcome!

****

There will be another post soon. Probably tomorrow. :)
~K





PS- I'd just like to say that I don't know if "bu do" is the correct pinyin translation. All I know is that "bu do" is what it sounds like to my untrained ear. Anybody who speaks Chinese is free to correct me. 



1 comment:

  1. Bu dong. Don't Understand: that and bu yau (don't want) were the first two phrases I learned 43 years ago when I was stationed in Taipei. My wife is from Lo Dong, last visited three years ago, can't wait to return.

    Good story.

    ReplyDelete